Monday, March 30, 2009

The Homosexuals and Silver Apples @ The Echo, 03/29/09

"I have known love and love is blind"

I went to see the seminal 19070s British Punk band, The Homosexuals with Silver Apples at The Echo with last night. The band consists, of course, of Bruno Wizard as the only original member and a bunch of younger dudes supporting The Wiz.

The Homosexuals sans Anton + a bunch of younger dudes and several Bruno costume changes

Silver Apples photo courtesy of Rolling Stone


Bruno totally vibed me as the British 70's Punk-legend version of our American frat boy roofie dropper. It was a really fun show but dude kept waxing philosophic about the power of "love" selectively eyeing down particular under-age female concert goers with what I can only describe as a creepy-ass rape stare. I mean, besides Wizard, I had to be one of the oldest people in the room, so you can imagine how awkward it was to watch him drool over little Echo Parkians 50 years his junior. CREEPER STATUS!!

Silver Apples
, however is the fucking best and Simeon Coxe III is my absolute hero. He stood up there old-as-fucking-hell, older even than Wizard, with his hand-crafted music machines and a "Roswell-type" alien T-shirt fucking slaying the crowd. I heard a lot of people say, " I hope I'm that cool when I'm that old". There is no way you will be that cool.


Astral Glamour - The Homosexuals


I Have Known Love - Silver Apples

Friday, March 27, 2009

Taschen Porn

You know you're a classy dude when Taschen publishes your pornography

Glamour From The Ground Up, Ed Fox Your fav porn stars framed by Fox's impeccible composition


Do It Yourself
, Uwe Ommer I love, love, love the idea of the subject deciding how they feel sexy. Please everyone, send your self-portrait nudes to weegngrcnt@gmail.com for me to enjoy


I read this one a lot, too (not Taschen)

Bukowski n' Me




Have you ever noticed that once you hear of something or say something for the first time, that thing will start popping up everywhere?

Like, maybe you’ve never seen or heard of a hovercraft before, then its all hovercraft, all the time for the next week.

Well, A few posts ago, on this very blog I was talking about Hugo Yunker and I mentioned that due to her Chinese ancestry her vagina very well may open sideways. I have heard his implied before but I have certainly never seen this written down or spoken of definitively.

Mere days after I wrote the piece on Hugo and her Asiatic twat opening I was reading Charles Bukowski’s 1982 novel, Ham On Rye when I came across this passage,

The elevator came up. The albino was still at the controls. “Hey, I hear you and Mewks made the bars last night!”
“He bought me a few beers. I’m broke.”
“You guys get laid?”
“I didn’t.”
“Why don’t you guys take me along next time? I’ll show you how to get some snatch.”
“What do you know?”
I’ve been around. Just last week I had a Chinese girl. And you know, it’s just like they say.”
“What’s that?”
We hit the basement and the doors opened.
“Their Snatch doesn’t run up and down, it runs from side to side.”


…Well, there you have it

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I HUG L.A.

What else can I say, I love L.A.


I love this town, but parking is a motherfucker. Huh, Isaac?

convenient parking - MODEST MOUSE

Monday, March 23, 2009

Mike Watt and BARR @ Mountain Bar 03/21/09




Tommy and I went to see Mike Watt and BARR play at the Mountain Bar on Saturday night. How could the legendary Mike Watt of Minutemen and Firehouse fame play with Brendan Fowler of BARR and Disaster; one of the most well known musical personalities of the Smell phenomenon at the little-ass Chinatown Mountain Bar on a Saturday? It’s gotta be a shit show, right?

No. There was like 50 people there, and 40 of them had no idea who Watt was, let alone BARR. It was fucking insane. Sure enough, there was Mike Watt, spankin’ the shit out of his slap-shovel. Fowler was there too, wearing Air Max; ready to sing us the single and tell us why it sucks.


I guess it was an after-party for some art show, so the crowd was ready to get their art-fag on; hence the non-understanding of the punk that was about to go down.

I caught Mike Watt's set...Stellar! I was shooting the shit with Tommy's Limey-ass Kiwi friends and completely missed BARR. PISSSED! 'Ol T-Rex promised it was rad, I guess he played as BARR and rinsed the hits that make the Toms wearing girls ooze vagina creme. All and all an unexpected and super-stokeded evening.



Lonely Metro trip

Chinatown is my favorite

Steffi was there kicking it with the Minuteman, himself!

we met these chicks

pic sucks but you get the idea

your boy hit the love bucket in one toss!

all n' all, a pretty sweet ride


Dude is old, but still KILLS it


You've all heard this one

Friday, March 20, 2009

Shabu Shabu



A lot of Japanese girls come into my work, fucking tons. We get straight Pearl Harbored every day. I like them. They are so white, almost transparent, and doughy, like raw Pillsbury croissants. I was contemplating this today and I remembered this old one I wrote:

Shabu Shabu


Oriental girls walk together from the Shabu Shabu House with skin so dark they would make Hawaii jealous

They're arm n' arm, an intimacy reserved for the East, visible only to me upon importation, like anime or Pocky or special magic eye drops

Their flowy empire blouses may look dated on a white girl

Their tricot leggings may look dated on a white girl, if worn under mini skirts the way they don them

Their asymmetrical haircuts may look dated on a white girl

Their shoes are Chuck Taylor's which will never look dated on a white girl

They wear these items with a newness that suggests the height of fashion and picture of comfort

I heart them

Hugo Yunker: Hunter Becomes Prey

YanYan aka Hugo Yunker


YanYan aka Hugo Yunker with titties and spoon necklace


I really like YanYan. I hate to admit that because she's kind of cocky and i wouldn't want to feed her ego. She often says, writes or creates things that makes me say, "I wish I had thought of that." Most of our communication has been saying really terrible things to each other over the internet. She drinks sparks and eats sardines every night for dinner.

She herself is the broad that has combed endless porn sites, finding people we mutually know engaged in publicly viewable sex acts. Her direct discoveries have wound up on Wee Ginger Cunt no less than 3 times, maybe 4. This is an important fact because in a classier and way rad way SHE has joined the ranks of internet porn personality when she modeled for Richard Kern and became the subject of an episode of the Vice TV show, Shot by Kern. She’s fucking stoked to be shot by such a revered shutterbug and I’m fucking stoked to FINALLY see her vagina. I thought Chinese girls’ pussies opened left to right?!??


If you like to see her speak and move those bare breasts and that spoon necklace around please see here:

Thursday, March 19, 2009

haikuler than a polar bears toenails



cutty buddies rule
i'm glad that you are so cool
'cause now i have two

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Giger Resurgence



I have said on this very blog that 2009 is the year of the ginger; our year to shine. There are gingers popping up in the damndest places. Dont trip if there's a red president in 2012.

This is what the late-to-the-ging-party motherfuckers at Vice had to say about it. I love you Viceland!



The ginger resurgence
This post was written on March 17, 2009
Posted Under: hair



Either redheads have been getting way more action over the past few decades than we all thought, or L’Oreal’s sales of red hair dye have gone supersonic, because there are a hell of a lot of new gingers out there at the moment.

I can only assume that this is yet another part of the 90s revival, along with dungarees, DMs and people who, despite the fact they were about seven when it came off air, talking about how much they loved My So Called Life.

If, like me, you are now sprouting grey hairs, you will remember with nostalgia the first joyful application of rancid, eye-watering, toxic red hair dye. I think the shade I first turned to was something called “Berry Heaven” and I got it for about £2 from Boots. I remember stroking all the little nylon strips stuck along the bottom of the shelf that were supposed to show you how your hair was going to look after three hours of red battery acid scorching your head. The result, of course, never turned out like expected.

My friend Alix reminded me the other day of mahogany Shaders and Toners. Remember that? And can you remember hair mascara? Sweet mother of ill-advised attempts at punk! It was like wiping emulsion on your hair. It came out at around the same time many of my friends were trying to look like Angel from Home and Away by plaiting the two little bits of hair at the front (take note, 90s revivalists) and wearing anything white and made of crochet. By combining these fringe plaits with hair mascara, we successfully managed to make ourselves look like the entrance to a car wash.

The best thing about all those red 90s hair dyes was the fruity names the cosmetics companies had to resort to in order to disguise the fact that they were basically selling bottled gingivitis (I know, I know, that’s a side effect of malnutrition, but come on, it works). There was plum, cherry, bronze, berry, auburn, burnt caramel, mahogany and copper. Sometimes you’d get a combination of the two, so, for example, my friend Milly was a burnt copper-mahogany girl. No matter what combination you had, the colour always lightened to a glorious shade of Boris Becker after only a few hours in the sun.

The combination of semi-permanent plum hair dye and Sun-In will go down in fashion history as one of the worst hairborne toxic events in the twentieth century. And this summer, with all that newly dyed red hair flicking about, it will be creeping back on to the scalps of unsuspecting young hipsters across the country.

You have been warned.

NELL FRIZZELL

Monday, March 16, 2009

Your favorite comics are fucking retards

So, I ride past the Improv every day on my up Melrose to work. I always notice these abominable portrait murals. I finally traipsed down on my lunch and shot them. They are basically paintings of your favorite celebrities if they were suddenly stricken with adult on-set Downs Syndrome.


YAAAY! Marlin Wayans was born with an extra chromosome


Is that David Spade or Ellen Degeneres? Either way I'ma get up in them guts.


Straight up short bus Drew Carrey


OK, This one's pretty spot on



This dude is waaay before my time. I think he was in Princess Bride or some shit


Oh, Hell No. For real? Leno? isn't this nigga ugly enough without retardifying him in aerosol?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Haiku Wars

(no photo, yet)

This ain’t no mustache party y’all, and it ain’t no yacht rock ball. In fact, it ain’t a trend yet at all. This Haiku Wars and it’s a Silverlake to Bk. original.

It seems that the strict structure of the age-old literary device known as the haiku (3 line poem, 1st line 5 syllables, 2nd line 7 syllables, 3rd line 5 syllables, again) allows one to say things you normally wouldn’t in convo or free verse.

Step into the HAIKU ZONE…..

It’s all love, I guess
You two are like some frat bros
Sorority slut

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Haiku

Because you said that you like it when i write about you



My Dope mans grew mold
Nike Swoosh frowns on New York
No kicks since you left


Authors note: The photo of my moldy Cortezes featured above is real. I keep all of my slippers in plastic shoes boxes, this makes them easy to sort and stack. I've done this for along time without discovering live cultures living in my kicks. All of the sudden I pull my dope mans out to complete the perfect gangsta-cas(ual)-mac outfit and, voila, a fucking 5th grade science fair 3rd prize winner.

Thou Shalt Always Kill

Wait, wait, wait, Crass is not JUST a band.

Thou Shalt Always Kill - Dan Le Sac VS Scroobius Pip

Ok, I know this shit came out 2 full years ago but its been on the WGC turntable tough in the '09. Plus, we some Americans any-goddamn-way.

The Beatles… Were just a band.
Led Zepplin… Just a band.
The Beach Boys… Just a band.
The Sex Pistols… Just a band.
The Clash… Just a band.
Crass… Just a band.
Minor Threat… Just a band.
The Cure… Just a band.
The Smiths… Just a band.
Nirvana… Just a band.
The Pixies… Just a band.
Oasis… Just a band.
Radiohead… Just a band.
Bloc Party… Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys… Just a band.
The Next Big Thing.. JUST A BAND.

Here's the stoppy-ass video if you want to waste 3 minutes 26 seconds more of your life

The Cunt Moves To Silverlake!


After 7 wonderful years in the depths of the downiest sectors of Downtown Los Angeles, Wee Ginger Cunt has up and moved to the suburbs of Sunset Junction, Silverlake, CA.

This uprooting and subsequent replanting occurred for a plethora of reasons. Some of you know some of those reasons. Most of you probably don’t realize that I had taken a job at a near-by coffee shop. When I realized that nearly everyone at the coffee shop, including the patrons and the young black boys who lip-synched Fishbone songs, fake playing real guitars, jumping around the real stage wildly, were all working in unison through some sort of ritualistic behavior to read my mind and control my thoughts! Yeah, I was as surprised as you are. Needless to say I had to split, landing right here in the hills of Silverlake. Now I have a cat named Sidney and a lovely roommate named Maria.

Home is...

where the <3 is