Quote Of The Day

So today's q.o.t.d is another BBM. This time from the homegirl Preezy...

"Yo, there's this guy that always comes into my work hollering hella hard, talkin' bout how much he wanna spend money and shit. I always thought he was hollering at my co-workers but turns out he's trying to get at me. I just didn't know cause he has this ridiculous lazy eye."

When I'm talking about homie and I say, "not a good look", I really mean that shit.

ja, bitte

Free Consuling

I found this flyer near the soda fountain at McDonald's. Free consuling? Legal help, too? The single parenthesi? "All from , "God Gifted". I like to see the entrepreneurial spirit in the hood, but fuck!

And what's with the photo of the bitch clutching her purse and shit? It's all so illogical that you could kill a Vulcan simply by passing him this paper.

I think mama would of had better luck applying to the Mickey D's where she was handing out these leaflets.

I implore upon everyone reading this post to call the number on the flyer. receive your free spiritual and/or legal counseling and possibly split a 10 piece nuggets and a Lava Burst Orange Hi-C.

Taping Lifts

Sometimes I tape industrial goings-on. Sometimes these videos are of elevators.

You could say that the footage speaks to the oppression of human ingenuity. The more we incessantly create machines, robots, artificial modes of transport, the more we separate ourselves from the natural world; inadvertently condemning our experience to one of inescapable isolation at almost a molecular level.

Or, you could just say that I’m taping lifts.

A


B


C

I gotta bitch named Kesha

In the age old tradition of grand Hip Hop sex joints...

If your a man

I have my theories of what it means to be a man; a REAL man. It’s gotta be more than lifting the lid when you pee. If my theories are true, than I am certainly not one.

Real MEN command respect.

Real MEN know how to handle relationships with women.

Real MEN have spent time behind enemy lines as prisoners of war.

Real MEN file their taxes.

Real MEN know the glory of having a finger up their ass when they fuck.

Real MEN take the bull by the horns.

Real MEN don’t describe things as “cute”

Real MEN say things like, “If it’s got tits or wheels, it’ll give you problems”

Real MEN don’t instant message half their day, over-utilizing smiley face emoticons.

Real MEN get their dress shoes shined by old guys with jerri curls on Broadway.

When will I make this transformation? I'm staring down 30, right now. 30 is reflective like a mirror and all I see in my reflection is fitted caps and “holler back” and crack pipes and half pipes and track bikes and slap fights with black guys on dance night at Dance Right.


Oh, by the by, the photo above was taken in the super gross, co-ed private bathroom on the 7th floor of the factory. this particular restroom has been deemed by the factory kids as "the abortion clinic". Someone was such a stickler for grammar that they came back to the clinic with a sharpie and scribbled out the incorrect "your", changing it to "you're"

...oh, NOW I get it.

If y'all are so destitute why are you dressed so cute?: Prop 8 Protest

Lyndsea, Quinten and I hopped on the Sunset-bound No. 2 bus with the dually-related purpose of participating in a march against the recently passed voter initiative that effectively bans gay marriage in California (The gayest state of them all) and tramples on the thousands of recent dude-on-dude/broad-on-broad unions that have taken place over the last 18 months and burning a fucking straight bar to the ground.

So we boarded, and peeeaced!




We arrived to a scene of gays, straights, moms, sisters, dykes, femmes, dads and more gays...



One problem. these people were serious about conducting a peaceful, respectable march. They wanted to come out in numbers showing their detest for this hateful new proposition, and they wanted to obey the law the whole time. FUCK!! We were high on visions of over turning Altimas and burning fucking straight people clubs to the ground, these jokers were bent on expressing their First Amendment rights.

Quinten and I started to get a little nervous...


It turns out my friends are more interested in drinking the backpack full of beers and arrowhead bottles of Andre we brought than organizing to protest this evil new entity in California:Proposition 8. If you, however, would like to show your contempt for this scam perpetrated by right wing jesus zombies,you can click here and find out how to march downtown this weekend. car burning optional

Tigerbeat-off: Shame on the Train

So, if you live in this city and you steadily mob around in your whip, like always; you never bike or take the train I feel sorry for you.

While I agree that Big Boy in the Morning is fucking funny, Power 106 doesn’t have shit on the type of hilarity you’ll encounter while traversing via L.A.’s famously sparse public transit system.

This little nugget of perversion was snapped by my friend Candace yesterday while on a Southbound Caltrans to Orange County


This 40 something Mexican-dressed-as-as-a-Persian is thumbing through the latest copy of TIGERBEAT!

This fool has no shame in his game! I mean I want to fuck Zack Efron as much the next guy but I dont bust out my tween/twink jack rags on the fucking 6:00 to San Diego.

Sign ain't lie

"He called me a NIGGER and told me that I must be poor or homeless because no one would carry a winter jacket around in July. I told him it was North Face and all was settled."

The Psychedelic Fred Rogers: Mr. R discovers Bruce Haack

Das ist mein ganzes Leben in einer Videobüroklammer


Zu mehr über den unglaublichen Bruce Haack erlernen
Zu einiges von Bruce' hören; s materpieces in der Kindheit von electronica, klicken hier

HATER ALERT! HATER ALERT!

This journalist represented Crunchilvania in the '04 Hater Olympics. He took home the copper in the 500 M salty look contest while failing to place in his other event, Heavyweight Men's Mean-Mugging.

PDX: The next Rap capital?

Portland is my favorite rap city right now and your boy Ohmega Watts is the unofficial Bridge City mayor.

Let's see, we grew up in New York, popped our cherries in LA, got stoopy down south, Hyphy up north...are we really ready for that rainy day women rap?



peace to Fresh Selects and the Pac Northwest.

What do you tell a broad with a black eye?

Nothing, someone's already told her.




Not only is Miami a rad punching bag, but she's also one of my favorite LA artists. check her other band with Pop levi.