Consumer RepWhore: Iophen-C NR Cough Syrup w/ Codeine

Codeine Cough Syrup enjoys several monikers within the Hip Hop vernacular; Purple Drank, Sizzurp, Lean.

I’ve personally been on that purple stuff for many years. Before Weezy sang its placid praises and before Pimp-C died from the shit.

I was first introduced to the lean machine when Golden Browne was still a wee high school girl battling an ecstasy-induced bout of chronic bronchitis. Her Scottsdale physician was a bit of a pediatric Dr. FeelGood and she passed this wonder tonic out with the slightest complaint of a scratchy throat.

I sipped the sizzurp steady and once again, much like White Owl Blunts and Nike Dunks, I was well ahead of the Crunk-Curve. I had very little luck acquiring the sticky serenity-sap from my trips to various AZ-based general practitioners and family doctors.

As my persona matured a bit my dreads came off, my piercings fell out and I re-gained the weight I had lost during a period of daily meth injections I found that attainment of this good-time grail became easier and easier. As it turns out, doctors are a little uneasy doling powerful liquid narcotics to obviously strung out punk junkies.

The thing I want to stress to my faithful and beloved Wee Ginger Cunt readers is this: Lean ain’t just for redheads and rappers YOU TOO can have fun getting fucked on liquid codeine. Here’s the why, where and how of sippin’ on the sizzurp…

1.WHY?- Sipping lean gives you the fuzzy body high you know and love vicodin for. Like vics, lean is great when cocktailed with marijuana and booze. Also, Lean is pretty rad to bust out with all your cracker-ass friends. You get Southern-fried street cred and your friends get a cool Sunday afternoon soiree story to tell at the sorority house. Rosalinda partook at Matt Goldman’s pre-Fuck Yeah Fest pool party atop the Standard Hotel on Saturday. 15 minutes later she was grinding with a sunk-chested Armenian boy. Definitely a good look.

2.WHERE? - No need to canvas 6th street between Maple and Main, you can get this shit from your doctor! It’s best to go in when you actually have a tiny cough or a little congestion. Medical doctors are dumb but they aren’t morons and this probably ain’t your doctor’s first fake-flem rodeo. You usually get a re-fill so the second bottle will be all yours for healthy horse-play.

3.How? - Probably the most popular lean libation is sizzurp and Sprite. Yeah, Pimp C overdosed on the shit but don’t be a little pussy, pour liberally. Mix it like its vodka 7-Up, roughly half and half. On the go, I suggest chugging from the bottle, fuck the mixer. Caution, this can get hairy when your friends (Greg, Jason) that act as purple drank parasites and enjoy chugs when they should be enjoying sips.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Start your Leaning!!!