Consumer RepWhore:Busmills Single cask Whisky

On Friday, the painter David Amico held an opening at Stephanie’s gallery in Beverly Hills. As a token of his appreciation for Steffi’s always professional demeanor, he gifted her (and me, by osmosis) a bottle of Bushmills Single Cask Single-Malt Irish Whisky.

This fucking shit is good, like super-good. If you dipped your cock in it you could probably fuck for hours and never get AIDS. In Fact I’ll give you the Wee Ginger Cunt Guarantee that if you dip your dong in Bushmills Single Cask Single-Malt Irish Whisky, you can pull it out of the bottle and shove it any human hole without fear of disease or embarrassment.

This whisky was distilled in 1989, which means it was born before some of the girls I sleep with. My friend says that mixing these types of whiskies with Dr. Pepper is the bomb-dot-com. I would not recommend that with this particular pedigree, as one bottle of this shit costs more than a quarter-ounce of blow in LA. A couple of ice cubes should be good. Damn, now I want to do some blow.