Free Consuling

I found this flyer near the soda fountain at McDonald's. Free consuling? Legal help, too? The single parenthesi? "All from , "God Gifted". I like to see the entrepreneurial spirit in the hood, but fuck!

And what's with the photo of the bitch clutching her purse and shit? It's all so illogical that you could kill a Vulcan simply by passing him this paper.

I think mama would of had better luck applying to the Mickey D's where she was handing out these leaflets.

I implore upon everyone reading this post to call the number on the flyer. receive your free spiritual and/or legal counseling and possibly split a 10 piece nuggets and a Lava Burst Orange Hi-C.

Searching for my Baby Mama

It’s apparent that I’m a magnet for motherfuckers lost photographs. Wherever I tread I seem to discover snapshots of people that are perfect strangers. Strangers, that is, until the moment my hand touches the photos and I get stuck; Obsessed with the unanswerable...

Who are they?

Where are they?

How did they lose their precious Disneyland flicks at the Valero petrol station on 4th street and Alameda?

This photographic find was special, however. Look mi ruca in the eyes and explain to me how you don’t fall in heart with her. For real, please explain!! Your boy is starting to lose sleep on this one.

I’m on some L-Boogie: Loving girl is like a song I replay every 3 minutes and 30 seconds of every day!

And all we really know about her man is that he

A) Spotted for some Disneyland tix, and

B) Dude likes to wear different silly hats

Dear girl in the flicks,

If were your man I wouldn’t have to floss with different types of pirate hats because I’d be wearing YOU like a hat…that’s what I call rocking LA above the brim. I also vow that you wouldn’t have to eat dinner in Anacrime again, unless your tia lives out there or some shit.

Xo,
RL

My friend told me that I shouldn't fall so hard in like with all these Latin broads cause they turn into gummy bears after 30…WHAT??!!?

I’ll worry about that when that shit come to fruition. Right now, I bow before the alter of my Mexican Mami’s. Puro La Raza!! Puro La Rojo por siempre!!

Have You Met Me? found photos/king eddys/6:17am

Sometimes I wake up quite early. My favorite thing to do on these occasions is to walk down to my morning bar, King Eddy’s Saloon.

The other day as I traipsed to the bar, before even the downtown coffee shops were open for business. I saw luggage and its contents strewn across the sidewalk and asphalt that compose the intersection of 5th street and Los Angeles.

This sort of disregard isn’t entirely uncommon as 5th and Los Angeles is the downtown mouth of skid row; the entrance and exit point of the city center for many stragglers and no-goodknicks.

As I rummaged, shoulder-to-shoulder with the half human/half vulture creatures that gathered around the hurricane pile of somebody’s last possessions. I came across a single photo album page, containing the above photos.

The thing that struck me about the photos besides the frantic circumstances that surrounded their discovery was the seemingly uneventful circumstances surrounding the scenes in the photographs themselves. They depict, essentially, some friends gathered in a suburban setting, having drinks and talking. No big whoop. These photos were so important to someone that they were among their very last possessions; the items that they held close to them as they were thrown into the realm of Los Angeles’ homeless population, only to have them torn from their grip and laid haphazardly about the entrance to King Eddy’s.

If you grew up, as I did, in a place like Phoenix or Riverside or Reno then these characters may look very familiar. I could easily see my parents mixed in with this relatively motley looking crew; Marlboro menthols, “Maui” t-shirts and all.

Also the dark-haired girl in Adidas cross-trainers is kind of fuckable.