If your a man

I have my theories of what it means to be a man; a REAL man. It’s gotta be more than lifting the lid when you pee. If my theories are true, than I am certainly not one.

Real MEN command respect.

Real MEN know how to handle relationships with women.

Real MEN have spent time behind enemy lines as prisoners of war.

Real MEN file their taxes.

Real MEN know the glory of having a finger up their ass when they fuck.

Real MEN take the bull by the horns.

Real MEN don’t describe things as “cute”

Real MEN say things like, “If it’s got tits or wheels, it’ll give you problems”

Real MEN don’t instant message half their day, over-utilizing smiley face emoticons.

Real MEN get their dress shoes shined by old guys with jerri curls on Broadway.

When will I make this transformation? I'm staring down 30, right now. 30 is reflective like a mirror and all I see in my reflection is fitted caps and “holler back” and crack pipes and half pipes and track bikes and slap fights with black guys on dance night at Dance Right.


Oh, by the by, the photo above was taken in the super gross, co-ed private bathroom on the 7th floor of the factory. this particular restroom has been deemed by the factory kids as "the abortion clinic". Someone was such a stickler for grammar that they came back to the clinic with a sharpie and scribbled out the incorrect "your", changing it to "you're"

...oh, NOW I get it.